Dear
Professor Brad
My name is
Michelle Tan and I am composing this introductory letter in hope that it
allows you to get to know me better. I am currently pursuing engineering, at
the Singapore Institute of Technology, as a Year 1 student under the
sponsorship of the Singapore Armed Forces. Before furthering my degree, I
graduated from Ngee Ann Polytechnic studying biomedical engineering, and was
working as an Army engineer in the military.
During my
three years in the army, I ensured operationally ready armored tanks for combatants.
I was tasked to repair faulty components, perform onsite maintenance (solving
minor faults outfield without towing), and preventive maintenance of armaments
such as mortars and guns. These experiences contributed to the development of
my analytical skills for fault diagnosis and critical problem-solving skills
for efficient onsite repairs to prevent delays in the training schedule. I
chose to study engineering as it is a platform where I can put my skills to
good use especially when I return to work.
Through this
module, I hope to be a better listener. I often find myself sharing more than
listening and this might deprive people around me to speak. I understand that
communication is two-way traffic but I still frequently find myself
overpowering quieter people. However, this is also my strength because I bring
people together and my friends know me as a social butterfly.
Also, I hope
to hone my writing skills in terms of grammar and tone. Being in the army, I
need to be equipped with good staff writing and I find myself confused about
phrasing sentences to sound more formal or rephrasing lines to have a clearer
and more precise meaning.
Let's aim
for bringing effective communication and applying the 8 intellectual traits to
the next level!
Best Regards
Michelle
Thank you for writing this well thought-out letter! It is simple and straight to the point, which allowed me to have a grasp on your positive and optimistic personality really quickly. I like how you expanded on your experience when you were working (breadth) and that really backed up your reasons for joining MDME!
ReplyDeleteJust a few minor grammatical error here and there but overall it is a well-written letter!
Thanks Omega! I really appreciated your time reading my introduction. I would certainly look into your comments and try to improve for further taskings :)
DeleteHi Michelle, thankyou for sharing this letter. I like how you explained your points clearly and I thought the examples written were pretty insightful too. Overall a well-executed letter, although there were minor grammatical error.
ReplyDeleteThanks Edwin! I really appreciated your time reading my introduction. I would certainly look into your comments and try to improve for further taskings :)
DeleteDear Michelle,
ReplyDeleteThank you for this informative letter. The content is aligned with the assignment brief, you present your thoughts in a clear and well-organized manner and the language use is excellent. You've also shared interesting details about your Army experience and how that has impacted both your skills development and your needs, which allows us readers to gain a basic understanding of who you are. You also demonstrate a willingness to improve in areas like writing and interpersonal communication, which will be important as you move forward on your study and eventual career path. Great stuff!
I look forward to working with you further this term.
Best wishes,
Brad
Thank you Prof! I really appreciated your time reading my introduction and glad it was informative and interesting for you :)
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ReplyDeleteThank you for taking your time to write this letter Michelle. Through your experiences, I manged to understand your reasons to join engineering. I like the fact that you are always able to relate things that you do or wish to do back to your work in the army, which is a good thing as you are always looking at the bigger picture.
DeleteI thought the explanations were clear and well written and have great flow throughout. There might be some minor punctuation errors but I am sure it would be a easy and quick fix. Through this letter I was able to get to know you better. Overall great job writing this letter, good day! :)
Thanks Justin! I really appreciated your time reading my introduction and glad it was informative and interesting for you :)
DeleteWell written letter Michelle! It was a pleasure to learn more about you through this letter. One odd vocab choice I noticed was in the line "I understand that communication is two-way traffic but I still frequently find myself overpowering quieter people." If I'm not mistaken the phrase should be two-way street. Otherwise, you hit all the points needed for the letter and your use of grammar is accurate!
ReplyDelete